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Giving December Author Interview⑥


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Looking Back on the Years I’ve Spent Turning Lemons into Lemonade

Interview with Icchi

Interviewer: Maco Yoshioka


This year, Single Mothers’ Sisterhood is celebrating its 5th anniversary. To mark this milestone, we did a series of special interviews with single mothers who wrote essays for our past campaigns, and listened to “what happened next” in their lives.

In this sixth interview, we meet Icchi, who has written two essays for us. In them, she shared her inner struggles and also her decision to keep moving forward. We asked her about the changes she has undergone through writing, the new paths that have opened up from there, and the future she wants to pursue from now on.


Essays by Icchi

1. When you reread the essays you wrote in the past, what kinds of feelings come up?


“Kakeibo – The Power of Keeping a Household Budget!” (December 2021)This was the first essay I ever tried to write, and it ended up sounding a bit like a report after taking a financial literacy course. But the household budget I started at that time is still going today, and I really feel again that taking that course was the right decision.

“Sunny with Occasional Lemons” (December 2022)When I wrote it, I was thinking, “I hope that if my daughter reads this in the future, it will give her courage.” But when I read it again now, it feels a bit scattered and immature as an essay.Still, the fact that I can feel that way probably means I’ve grown at least a little since then, so I try to see it in a positive way!


2. Are there parts where you think, “This is really like the old me,” and parts where you feel, “This is different from how I am now”?


I think the way I relate to my daughter has changed.

When I wrote “Sunny with Occasional Lemons,” my daughter was 10 years old and still in elementary school. As I wrote in the essay, the two of us used to go out together all the time. As a single mother, I strongly wanted her to meet many people, see different ways of thinking, and have lots of experiences.

Now my daughter is in the second year of junior high school. It’s a sensitive time, and we go out together a lot less. These days, I feel like it’s more of a time for me to watch over what she wants to do on her own initiative.


3. Since you wrote the essays, what has been the biggest change in your life?


A time when I felt I wasn’t “using” my qualifications

Up to now, I’ve tried many different qualifications whenever I felt like it.I’m the type who jumps right in when something interests me: I got a childcare worker (hoikushi) license, passed the Eiken Grade 1 English exam, and qualified as a customs specialist.

But often, I didn’t end up using those qualifications in my work. Because of that, I felt I wasn’t good at building a steady career.


For example, even though I got my childcare qualification, I had already left the English nursery school where I had been working. Even though I have Eiken Grade 1, I was doing work where I didn’t use English. And even though I’m a licensed customs specialist, I wasn’t working in the customs department.


Small opportunities started to connect

Recently, however, small opportunities have started to come one after another.

A friend who supports women entrepreneurs invited me to help with childcare during her weekend courses, so now I do part-time work there. My childcare qualification is useful in that job.


Also, someone from an “English conversation cafe” asked me to help with interpreting at international exchange events from time to time. It’s been fun to use English for work again after a long break, and it also gives me a little extra income.


On the day I finished one interpreting job, I used the payment I received to take my daughter out for dinner at a popular hamburger steak place. I spent a bit more than usual, but my daughter was so happy, and I felt, “That was a really good way to spend this money.”


Realizing that “this qualification” and “that experience” are all connected

Feeling that both my childcare qualification and my English skills are actually alive and being used helped me realize, deep in my heart, that nothing I’ve done has been a waste.

I still haven’t made good use of my customs specialist qualification yet, but I’ve submitted a request to be transferred to the customs department. I can now think positively that someday the chance will come.


Encouraged by “The Woman with 100 Qualifications”

In the past, when I complained to a friend about not making use of my qualifications, she told me there is a TV drama called “The Woman with 100 Qualifications.”

It’s about a single-mother police officer who uses 100 different qualifications to solve cases. My friend said, “Maybe you should aim for that too, Icchi,” and I couldn’t help laughing.


4. If you could send a message to the “you” who wrote those essays at that time, what would you say?


The next “lemon” was my daughter’s school refusal

In the essay, I wrote that my divorce was “the first lemon life threw at me,” and that “life won’t always be sunny from now on either; sometimes lemons will fall from the sky.”

At that time, I had no way of knowing this, but the next lemon that fell on me was my daughter’s school refusal.


When your child stops going to school, you first go through a period where you make all kinds of mistakes that many parents probably experience. In my anxiety, I nearly fell into the trap of services that push parents to solve things quickly and make money off their worries.


I went to many different places for advice. I listened to people who had gone through similar experiences. I read many books. After doing “all the things” I could think of, I finally accepted that there is no magical method, and that this is something that takes a lot of time.


Until I could accept it

Before I could accept it, I often blamed myself and felt very distressed.


As I wrote in the essay, right after my divorce, just seeing families with both parents and children together was painful. After my daughter stopped going to school, seeing junior high school students cheerfully walking to school in the morning also became painful.

But I realized that in both cases, once I made up my mind to accept our situation, I stopped being bothered by what other people were doing.


Her school refusal is not “over” yet, but now, even on days when things don’t go well, I can think, “It’s okay.” So I feel it will move in a good direction.


Now I am connected with people who run cafes for parents of children who are not attending school, and friends who want to study parenting together. Because of that, my mental state has become much more stable.


My daughter is not shut up in her room. She has friends. She enjoys her fandom activities (oshi-katsu), fashion, and sometimes throws herself into baking sweets. We also talk a lot as mother and daughter. I feel she is growing up in a healthy way.


Blessed with an understanding workplace

I’m also very grateful that my workplace is understanding.


When I am caring for my daughter, it is often hard for me to get to the office on time in the morning. But my supervisor always says, “Family comes first.”


He tells me, “You only have a few more years to spend so much time with your child. Please stay with her as much as you can. It’s okay if you’re late—make sure you take the time to send her off properly, then come to work. After your child becomes more independent, you can work a lot and give back then. For now, put your family first.”


When my child becomes more independent, I want to work hard in this workplace and contribute with the feeling of paying back all the understanding they showed me.


A message to my past self

To the “me” from that time, I would say:

“You took a lot of detours, but after going around and around, your relationship with your daughter has actually gotten better. Now you can see that this time was necessary, and you are somehow moving forward.”


5. In the next three years, what do you want to value in your life? Do you have any dreams or goals you would like to achieve?


Challenging the Nissho Bookkeeping Grade 3 exam

In my essay, I wrote that maybe I would try for a Financial Planner qualification next. In fact, I recently took the Nissho Bookkeeping Grade 3 exam—and I passed!


The city’s Mother and Father Welfare Center offered a free course to prepare for the Bookkeeping Grade 3 exam. I took the course twice a week in the evenings from August to November, after my full-time job, and then took the test.


After changing jobs, I started working in a department that analyzes company income and expenses and evaluates investments. I need knowledge of accounting and finance, so I felt that Bookkeeping Grade 3 would be a good starting point.


Being nominated for an award

Going to a two-hour class twice a week after a full workday was pretty tough. But the director of the Mother and Father Welfare Center said to me,


“You are always working so hard in the course and for the exam. I’d like to recommend you for the Soroptimist International ‘Live Your Dream: Education and Training Award for Women.’ Why don’t you apply?”


It is an award that helps cover education costs, such as tuition for obtaining qualifications.

In the past, the Mother and Father Welfare Center kindly displayed the Single-Parent Health White Paper there, and one reason they nominated me, they said, was that I am also involved in supporting other single mothers.


It made me feel grateful to see that if you keep studying, chances like this award can come your way.


In the next three years, after getting Bookkeeping Grade 3, I would like to try for Bookkeeping Grade 2. After that, it will depend on which department I’m working in at that time, but I want to keep learning.


6. What is your favorite phrase from your own essays?

“Learning broadens your possibilities and enriches your life. With the spirit of ‘continuing is power,’ I want to keep learning stubbornly but joyfully.”— from “Kakeibo – The Power of Keeping a Household Budget!”

The word “shibutoku” (stubbornly, in a good way) feels very much like me. The self-care classes are also one of the things I’ve been continuing “shibutoku.”

“With my natural light feet and optimism, even when lemons fall from the sky, I’ll squeeze them hard and turn them into delicious lemonade.”— from “Sunny with Occasional Lemons”

In the end, I think my basic mindset is not to overthink things, but to just try them first. That kind of optimistic mentality is very “me.”

Looking back, I realized that both of my favorite phrases were actually the last lines of each essay.


7. Lastly, do you have a message for readers of this interview?

Thank you so much for reading my essays and this interview!

I myself am a big fan of the essays written by other members of Single Mothers’ Sisterhood. I often find myself crying with empathy, feeling encouraged, or laughing along with them.


Even though we say “single mother” as one group, there are many different family shapes and stories. I am always surprised by that diversity. I think all of us involved in Sisterhood share the hope that we can build a society where that diversity is celebrated.

If you know a single parent around you, I would be very happy if you could recommend the Single Mothers’ Sisterhood self-care classes to them.


Also, maybe some people joined self-care classes in the past but now feel, “My child is much older now, so I shouldn’t go anymore.” Please don’t hold back like that—if you feel like it, I’d love for you to come back and join the self-care classes again!

I’ve also been continuing to join them “shibutoku”—stubbornly—for many years now. :)



Call for Donations
Thank you for reading this interview to the end. The nonprofit organization Single Mothers Sisterhood supports the mental and physical health and empowerment of single mothers. Your generous donations will be carefully used to fund the operation of 'Self-Care Workshops for Single Mothers'. Donations are accepted via the Donate button below.


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