Giving Month2023 Essay2

Title： My Best Ally: Embracing My Neurodivergent Uniqueness

Author： Rin

We already were facing a staff shortage when it happened. I suddenly felt a sore throat. It was hard to take a day off from work because of the staff shortage.

I bought my son’s dinner from a bento shop. My fever was 37.8°C. I decided to go to bed early and cure this cold for sure. I covered myself with my futon, immersed in the background sounds of my son's voice enjoying his game. I prayed that I would be fine and could go to work as usual the next day as I fell asleep.

My prayers were in vain. The next morning, when I took my temperature, the thermometer showed 38.0°C. I couldn’t go to work like this. I felt sorry and guilty for causing trouble to everyone as I called in sick.

As it turned out, I had pneumonia and the fever lasted for five days.

For those five days, I had been consumed by the thought that my colleagues might be thinking, 'We can manage without Rin, she's not necessary.' I was filled with the fear that I might become irrelevant, and that there wouldn't be a place for me anymore. My desk may be gone when I go back to work.

If I were in the opposite position, I would not think such things about my coworker who was sick and instead, I would eagerly anticipate their return.

It’s easy to say “Take care of yourself” or “Be kind to yourself”, but why is it so hard to do it?

As I was falling into the darkness alone, a ray of light reached me.

“Your strengths disappear when you feel down. It’s good to keep your strengths in a place where you can always see them.” This was what the instructor said when I participated in a workshop where we expressed the ups and downs of our lives in a chart form. The workshop was about finding the common factors when we were happy and unhappy from our lifeline chart, and exploring ourselves by talking with other participants about our strengths and weaknesses that emerged from that analysis.

When I looked at the worksheet I had made at that time, my strengths were ① having a growth mindset, ② following my path, and ③ taking action quickly without being afraid of failure.

That’s right!

The real me was someone who loved to learn new things and had the energy to do what I thought was right. From then on, I decided to hang the worksheet on the wall so that I could always remember my strengths.

Five days later, the fever went down and I nervously went back to work. My desk was still there. There was work to do. No one blamed me for taking a break. It was normal. That normalcy felt good.

You never know what will happen in life. Rather, life is more interesting with bumps and curves. Next time I feel down, I will look at my strengths on the wall and empower myself. I’m fine now.

And just like life, I think people are more attractive with bumps and curves. Maybe because of those bumps and curves, we can find the environment that we fit in like puzzle pieces and unleash our potential.

I want to believe that there is a place in this world where I can shine because of my bumps and curves. I want to meet people who match my puzzle pieces and bring out each other’s strengths. I want to walk together with the people I meet in this world where we can shine together.

To do that, I want to keep my strengths with me at all times, and consciously take time to explore myself like this. I want to continue and enjoy this endless journey.

Call for Donations
Thank you for reading this essay to the end. This essay was written by Single Mother Rin for the Giving Campaign for Single Mothers 2023. The non-profit organization Single Mothers Sisterhood supports the self-care of single mothers' minds and bodies. Your generous donations will be carefully used to fund the operation of 'Self-Care Workshops for Single Mothers' and 'Expressive Recovery Programs'. The well-being of single mothers  is essential, not only for themselves but also for their children. Your support would mean a lot to us.

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